I Think I am Losing Myself.

Its dark out and i sit down in my white paint chipped old rocker chair overlooking the foggy bay and do the most politically incorrect thing i can do.. I light my old pipe filled with a sweet mild pipe tobacco and take a puff.. It has a slightly sweet coffee and musky smell and i start to think...I must admit i have always despised politicians, and grew up hearing and believing that most do not look out for the people or the greater good but instead look out for there own interests, egos, and nest eggs.
spending most of my life in the law enforcement field i have seen alot of this firsthand, and had become somewhat cynical about losing our rights as citizens but giving more rights to criminals,
I have also seen the increase in government controlling what one can do to, and at his home while increasing the taxes so much that some families have to move.
500.00 hammers, bridges to nowhere, and payed trips to Bermuda.. etc etc.. but by all means don't think that i don't realize that we live in the best country in the world, and many young men and women did not return home alive so i can sit here and complain.
But for the life of me i cant figure out what i was thinking one day when i decided to run for office, I know that i had a concern about the rise in burglaries in the area and noticed no one was doing anything about it, and noticed that taxes kept increasing and no one was doing anything. and that the local ordinance's were increasing yearly ..and what could one person do? well at least one person could say no!
So i threw my hat in the ring, In the beginning there was the story of the young man from town who was killed in in the Vietnam war and the tragic story of what happened after his death, It really affected me alot.. so it seemed fitting to name a street after him of course thinking that everyone in the world was patriotic and it was going to cost taxpayers nothing,and the signs would be payed for out of pockets of local veterans, I sat in amazement to see a hundred people stand in support and ONE! person of community status almost derail it. Ok! You would think i learned my lesson..
Well i guess i realize that i haven't, after numerous incidents of angering the wrong person of community or church status I often wonder if it is really worth it. Iam amazed at the people who will believe the most horrible rumor's, just a simple little rumor to hurt the person who deserves it.(and there tongue's will be a double edged sword!) remembering all those things that grandma told me from the bible. *Then it hit me* Iam a politician.. I of my own free will entered into this world of Deception, Power, Ego, and Control.. Humm lets see there is community politics, family politics, office politics,and even the politics of love i suppose,
I realize that this is reality. I once stated to a gentleman that if he is doing wrong to people in the community i will bring it forth immediately.. and if he is doing right i will stand and defend him EVEN! if it costs me my seat. * Then it hit me again*.. I am not losing myself.. Iam my own man, I Have my own mind, Grandma may be gone but her thoughts and teachings still live in me, and most people can see thru the smoke of politics.. Speaking of smoke, the pipe bowl is empty and my kitty cat is staring at me to pet her..